Religion and contradictions in it.

As I walk through a temple with ringing bells and chanting Arati, I nod a low for the culture that has imbibed in me the practice of worshipping. But why did I do that without knowing the god, its history and logic, asked the rational self in me.

I walk through the temple every now and then and sometimes, indeed sometimes I call myself an atheist. I battle with the logic of religion every day. As I had a marriage card in my hands, I couldn’t throw it because it had a Hindu god in it. I really don’t call myself a Hindu but I wonder what it actually meant to be one. My Facebook profile used to say I am a monotheist, hah! Does this make me a less Hindu? as the number of gods are 36 crore in Hinduism, How can I really believe in all of them.
What was religion really invented for why did it even come into being? The only answer I had was “to discipline” the animal spirit of the man, to enable him to rise above his selfish consciousness. But a woman in 20^th Century, Do I have any use of it? I can be disciplined without a religion through my work which I really like and I would voluntarily do. But then I think does that make me a protestant because work is worship an ethic according to this religion.

While I was asked by the Facebook to tell my religion, I just I got confused, I looked through the options, none of them really meant much but the most suitable I found was monotheism. I do not go by the definitions of the scholars and philosophers, so my definition is to see a power which is beyond, which has no shape, which is in every material, in every experience, in every touch.

I personally never found any use of religion, but what it is really for me is the character. I believe in holding a character and doing good deeds with no anticipation in the next life. But that is the most difficult thing, to do good without any incentive, believe me it is! You walk on the street and help someone because you think that you could be that person. I am not being cynical here. There is no harm in doing good work by this way; at least we are doing it.
Religion by far I have found it to be a illusion if I consider the dogmatic religion, but what about hope that comes from faith and a belief which gives you strength and an escape from the materialistic lives. But now days we have religions like saccha sauda who believe in materialistic pleasure. So, where is the essence of religion really, is it about living life with material, or without material (Jainism), or with the madhyam marg balancing the both (Buddhism) where is the essence, a real essence.

Here, I put the biggest contradiction every religion has the answer, while no religion has the answer.